Swiping Swiper
by Ihnldy
Summary: Boots wishes away Swiper the Fox. Now he and Dora the Explorer must get to the goblin castle…but do they really want to save him?
1. Chapter 1

**Boots wishes away Swiper the Fox. Now he and Dora the explorer must get to the goblin castle…but do they really want to save him? **

*******

**I'm writing this mostly for my own amusement as I doubt most of you have ever had to endure watching Dora the Explorer with little siblings.**

***

Dora was getting ready to go hiking one fine jungle day. Having recently moved to the city, she was coming back to the jungle to visit during her summer vacation.

Soon Boots came knocking at the door to the little cabin.

"Hey, Dora! Are you ready to go hiking?"

"I sure am!" she called, opening the door and stepping outside.

"Hey! What's that you're holding?" he asked curiously.

Dora smiled, "It's my new iPhone! I got it when we moved to the city. Isn't it cool! Now I can surf the web and check my email wherever I am!"

"Wooooow! Can I see it?"

"Sure!" she said, handing it over to him. "I've been using it all day. You can play with it for a while now. Just be careful with it, it's reeeeeally expensive!"

"Where should we go today?" Boots asked as they started down the worn path.

"I want to go to the waterfall," Dora answered cheerfully. "It's sooo pretty this time of year!"

"The waterfall it is!" Boots cried excitedly.

Several of the animals came out to say hello as they walked along the path. Dora and Boots waved politely as they passed by.

Just as they were coming to a clearing, Boots suddenly stopped.

"Hey! Did you hear something?"

Dora looked around. "I didn't hear anything."

Boots shrugged and they continued on.

A fox suddenly jumped out in front of them, his hands reaching forward greedily.

"Swiper!" Dora cried.

Boots, who'd been distracted with the iPhone, didn't see him until he was very close.

"Swiper no swiping!" they said together. Swiper stepped closer, eyes shining with mischief.

"Swiper no swiping!" they said again. Again he advanced.

"Swiper NO…!"

The fox reached out and snatched the iPhone from Boots' hands.

"You're too late!" he said snidely. "You'll NEVER find your iPhone now!" But instead of flinging it away as he usually did with stolen items, he looked at it curiously and pocketed it. (where did swiper get pockets, you ask? Beats me…)

"Oh that Swiper!" Boots said angrily, "He's always trying to swipe our stuff! I wish the goblins would come and take him away. RIGHT NOW!"

Swiper, who had dashed behind a bush to make good his escape, started to laugh. But the snickering sound quickly turned to one of surprise. "AAAAAAAAHHHHH!" they heard him scream.

Dora looked at the rustling leaves of the bush, hearing Swiper's cries. "Swiper! Are you ok? What's going on?" She went to the bush and tried pushing the leaves back to find him, but he was gone and there was silence once again.

"Where'd he go?" Boots asked, peering over her shoulder.

"You know very well where he is," someone said from behind them.

They turned to see a scary looking guy in a black cape sneering at them.

"Oh no!" Boots cried, "You're him aren't you? You're the goblin KING!"

The goblin king nodded, "That's me!" he said proudly.

"Did you take Swiper?" Dora asked with concern.

"Of course I did," the dark one answered.

"Will you bring him back, please?" she asked politely.

The goblin king was about to answer, when Boots interrupted. "Bring him back?! Dora! Whatever for? That Swiper is nothing but a nuisance. He can stay where he is for all I care!"

Dora mouth fell open, "BOOTS! What's gotten in to you? We can't leave Swiper with the goblins, even if he IS a pain in the butt!"

The goblin king rolled his eyes, wondering why little girls were always SOOO _noble_…

Dora and Boots argued for a while. Finally, Boots said, "Fine! I guess we'll try to save him."

"How do we get him back, Mr. Goblin King, sir?" Dora asked.

The goblin king snickered, "Oh you can't get him back; not unless you _Solve My Labyrinth!"_

Boots and Dora exchanged a surprised glance. "Your labyrinth?" Dora asked. "What's that?"

The goblin king walked ahead a few paces and pushed aside some tree branches that were blocking the path through the jungle. Dora and Boots gasped, seeing that the path now led to a spooky looking castle at the center of a gigantic maze. Just then, dramatic 80s music began to play in the background.

"_That_ is a labyrinth," he answered dryly. "Do you still want to look for him?"

"You bet!" Dora exclaimed. "Let's go!" she cried excitedly, dragging Boots along.

"Just a minute!" the king said. They halted and turned.

"You have thirteen hours to solve the labyrinth before your fox friend becomes one of us…forever."

Again Dora and Boots exchanged a surprised glace. "Ok. What time is it, Boots?" Dora asked.

But before he could answer, a big clock appeared before them.

"Such a pity," they heard the goblin king say as he disappeared.

"Do you think we should take it with us?" Boots asked, reaching for the clock. But his hands passed through it and it vanished. "Bummer. I guess not."

"It's too big anyway," Dora said sympathetically, patting him on the shoulder. "Now come on! Let's go save Swiper!"

And they started down the path that would take them to the entrance.

***

The goblin king arrived back in his castle moments later. In the throne room, there in the pit, a small frightened fox was staring up at him with wide eyes. "MMMMMmmmmmfff!" he said. The goblins had gagged him and hog tied him.

Ignoring the poor animal, the king sunk down onto his throne and propped one calf up on the side. Then he noticed one of his goblins holding something small and rectangular. He straightened, curious.

"What is that _thing_ in your hands?" he called to the goblin, his voice projecting across the room and turning all attention his way.

The goblin held up the iPhone proudly, "It's a magic picture box! Pictures change when I touch it!"

Very curious now, the king strutted across the room and casually, crassly snatched the iPhone out of the goblin's hands. The goblin frowned and looked down at his feet.

The king studied the strange box as he returned to his throne, but the goblins were making such a ruckus he could hardly concentrate. "_EVERYONE GET OUT!_" he bellowed.

A half-second later the room was empty save Jareth and the bound fox. Said fox was wiggling along on his belly, scooting along slowly as he tried to obey the king's harshly voiced command. The king sighed and threw a shiny orb at the fox. It burst as it hit him in the forehead, and suddenly the ropes disintegrated. Gratefully, the fox stood. Instantly he was poised on all fours to make a mad dash out of the room. But before he could blink, bars shot up from the floor surrounding him.

"And just where do you think you're going, hmmm?" the king taunted.

"_Dooooaaaah!_" Swiper groaned miserably as he slumped down to the floor.

***

Dora and Boots passed through the door to the labyrinth some time ago. Having been well accustomed to conversing with inanimate objects, they politely and trustingly asked the door to open for them, and it did. Now they were walking through a never ending corridor of stone walls.

"This thing just goes on and on and on!" Boots whined.

Dora stopped and gave Boots a thoughtful glance. "Hm. Maybe there's another way to get past this part."

"Hey! Maybe you're right!" Boots agreed.

"Who do we ask for help when we don't know which way to go?" Dora asked suggestively.

"The Map!" cried Boots happily.

"The Map!" Dora agreed.

Then a rolled up paper jumped from Dora's backpack and began to sing The Map song. When he was finished, he said, "Dora and Boots need to get to the castle at the center of the Labyrinth. Well I know the way! To get to the castle, you must go over the bridge, through the city, and that's how you get to the goblin castle! Say it with me: bridge, city, goblin castle! Bridge, city, goblin castle!"

"Bridge, city, goblin castle!" Dora and Boots repeated several times.

Unbeknownst to Boots and Dora, a worm was watching this entire exchange. He shook his little head, waiting for the chanting to cease.

" 'Elo!" he said when they finished.

Together, Dora and Boots noticed the little worm and answered cheerfully, "Hello!"

"Do _you_ know how to get out of this _corridor_?" Dora asked him, eyes bright with expectation.

"Well suuuure," the worm answered, "Just go right into that wall there." He nodded confidently.

Boots and Dora exchanged glances and shrugged, following the little worm's advice.

"Woah! Cool!" Boots cried. He went right and Dora went left.

"Wait! Hang on a minute!" the worm cried. Dora and Boots stopped, returning to the middle.

"Don't go that way," he said, inclining his head to indicate the passage on the left. "NEVER go _that_ way!"

They shrugged again, and both went to the right.

Thirty seconds later the goblin king appeared with a juicy red apple.

"For you and the Missus," he said kindly, placing the apple by the entrance to the worm's home. He patted the worm's head with one gloved finger. "You are a loyal subject. You guard my short cut well."

The worm blushed and smiled happily. " 'Eny thin' for you, Majesty!"

Then the worm noticed the device the king was holding. "I beg your pardon, sire; wha's that in your hand."

The king frowned in uncertainty, holding out the little box so the worm could see it. "I don't know, actually. A goblin took it from the wished away fox. He said it was a 'magic picture box."

The worm looked at the box, and his eyes widened. "OOOoooo, that's a right-nice trinket you got there, highness. That's called an iPhone! Real a'mazin' magic from the human world. Shows ya 'eny thin' you want ta see."

The king snorted in disbelief. "Rubbish! The humans have no magic."

"Well sure they do, sire! It's just you ain't seein' it!"

The king's eyes widened in wonder as he stared at the box. "Is that so? How intriguing. Do you know how it works?"

The worm shook his head humbly, "Naah, I'm just a worm."

***

"Your Majesty?" a voice called.

Swiper woke from his troubled sleep to see none other than sir Didymus enter the throne room. The valliant fox looked around for a moment seeking the king before his gaze landed on Swiper. His eyes went wide and his mouth fell open in surprise.

"Say! What's this? What crime hast thou committed, young fox, that thou shouldst be placed in a cage?" he asked.

Swiper just stared at the other fox, feeling intimidated and glad for the bars that separated the two of them...


	2. Chapter 2

"Well? Speak up, young pup! Hast thou lost the power of speech?"

Swiper's eyes went wide with fear. "N-n-no, sir!" he stuttered,

"Then I shall ask again; why art thou imprisoned so?"

"I sw-sw-swiped a toy from D-D-Dora!"

You see, Swiper the fox had not heard when Boots wished him away, and his guilty conscience led him to believe that he had in fact been arrested for stealing.

"And who is this 'Dora' of whom you speak?" Sir Didymus demanded.

"She's an Explorer!" Swiper said, surprised that the older fox didn't know.

Sir Didymus studied him for a moment. "Hmmm. If I let thee out of this cage, doest thou swear not to steal again?"

"Oh yes sir! I promise I will never steal another thing ever again!"

"We shall see," the other fox answered skeptically. He pressed a lever by the wall and the bars retracted.

Dora and Boots had easily navigated through the labyrinth and had now come to a horrible smelling bog.

"Oh that smells horrible!" Boots exclaimed. "That's the worst smelling smell I've ever smelled!"  
Dora nodded in agreement and held a hand over her nose.

"Do you see a bridge anywhere?" she asked.

"Yeah! There it is!" Boots said, pointing excitedly.

A few steps away there was a stone bridge spanning over the bog. It looked very pretty compared to the ugly stinky surroundings.

"Great! Let's go!" Dora sang, "Come on vamanos! Everybody let's go! Come on let's get to it! I know that we can…"  
Before she could finish the usual round, a huge, adorable wooly creature stepped out from behind a tree and blocked the way over the bridge.

"Hello!" Dora greeted him politely. "We need to get to the goblin castle so we can save Swiper the fox. Can we please go over the bridge?"

The adorable wooly creature, Ludo was his name, looked puzzled and scratched his head.

"Ok," he said after a moment of thought, and he stepped aside. "Ludo fwend!"

"Thankyou!" Dora was sure to say as they skipped over the bridge.

"That's amazing!" the Goblin King was saying as he stared at the magic picture box.

He had taken it to the only person in the kingdom who might know how to use it; the Wise Old Man.

Of course he hadn't known how to use it but he did offer metaphorical advice while the yammering bird on top of his head chatted away. And the king, being a master of riddles and puzzles, eventually discovered how to use the infernal device. Soon he discovered things called Web Sites and E Mail and a thing called Google. In no time he found a web site called Facebook.

Excitedly he typed in a name, Sarah Williams, but frowned at the results. There were a staggering number of girls named Sarah Williams.

But the Goblin King was nothing if not patient. He spent a ghastly long amount of time in his opinion, about five minutes, to find to right one. When he found her he added her as a friend and read her profile.

She was thirty nine years old, single, and working on Broadway.

He smiled happily. For years he had not been able to find her with his magic. After all she had so haughtily declared to him, "You have no power over me!" But now he had found her using the technology of her own race and he had not even used one single crystal! He was so giddy with excitement he decided to go and collect her right away.

But he stopped and frowned, then laughed at himself.

He'd forgotten about his runners and the fox. The fox was the one who'd brought him this wonderful device. He must go to him immediately and thank him.

Waving a hand he vanished and appeared again in his throne room.

He blinked in surprise when he saw the little girl and the monkey. They had solved his labyrinth and had done it record time; about fifteen minutes.

"I want to thank you for lending me this wondrous device!" he said

"That's my iPhone!" Dora said with a smile.

The Goblin King tossed it to her and she caught it expertly. Swiper the fox eyed it lustily and sneered, but the elder fox gave him a stern look and he sheepishly hung his head.

"I think it's time all of you went home now," the Goblin King announced, "I have much to do!"

Then they all vanished from the throne room and appeared again in their beloved jungle.

"Wow! What an adventure!" Boots declared.

Dora shrugged, seeing nothing particularly extraordinary about the whole affair. She pocketed her iPhone and they continued on their hike to the waterfall.

THE END


End file.
